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05-Sep-2016 09:05 by 7 Comments

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People find themselves doing behaviors, which they feel great shame and remorse about.When we don’t allow ourselves to have feelings we usually find ways to disconnect from ourselves.This can be done with drugs, alcohol, sex, or just shutting down withdrawing into ourselves and not letting others in.In the years that I have worked with people who have sexual problems or addictions I have found the understanding of the emotion beneath the behavior and learning how to be vulnerable and form relationships where you can be present and engaged will reduce the sexual acting out or what other form of emotional medication they are using.Some Characteristics of Sex Addiction The addict feels shame about what he or she is doing, or more accurately, about what he or she has done, usually immediately after engaging in sex acts that violate some of the person’s standards.Red Hot Dateline — the most trusted adult chatline company in North America.

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There is the man who manipulates or coerces his date into being sexual with him; the woman in a partially unbuttoned blouse who bends down toward an unsuspecting male coworker and “accidentally” exposes her whole breast; or the man who seeks out crowded shopping malls so he can meander among the throng to “cop a feel.” Or adult men and women who manipulate the trust of children and abuse their power over them by tricking them into performing sexual acts with them.

This is exemplified by the teacher who becomes sexual with a student, a scandal we’ve seen recently in the news, or the neighbor who hires a boy to mow the lawn and then invites the child inside and lures him into sex.

Or the shame may be denied by calling it normal for “a real man,” or by focusing on others: “She wanted it,” or by engaging in it again right away so the shame is exchanged for pleasure.